Starting the week on the wrong foot
I just want to do a catharsis of my thoughts, hopefully, to get rid of all the bad juju in my head and in my surroundings. I have to say I was very optimistic a few days ago, around that time when I just received all the crystals for prosperity and positive vibes. Surprisingly, just a few days after receiving the crystals, one of my items in Carousell (a marketplace like eBay to sell mostly used stuff) which I posted over a year ago and was taking a lot of space in my room, was sold. It was a Naipo massager which I bought when I was in France, and I was selling it for Php 4,500. The buyer haggled for Php 3,000 which I would normally decline, but since it has been over a year since I posted the item, I conceded. He told me right there and then that he would come to our house to pick up the item but it was already past 4pm when he messaged and I was worried he might be caught due to the curfew being implemented during the ECQ. He told me that he's a frontliner though, so he's exempted (later I found out he's in the army). So yay! I got money!
And then when I learned that my aunt is not getting any better from the medicine I got her, the bad juju started to creep in my head. The stress at work also did not help, which further amplified the bad juju. I don't know, I'm just so down like I am not motivated to do anything. If I have the chance to die right now, I would take it. That's how bad the juju is. I've been trying to meditate every day with my crystals and my essential oils. I even downloaded the app, Tiny Decisions, which is a digital roulette I use so that the universe will point me to the crystal and essential oil I need at that very moment. Yes, I would feel relieved, hopeful, and motivated, but only for a few minutes. After a while, the positive effects would wear off and I would be back to my black hole. I just feel empty in my heart and my head is just so full of negative thoughts, confusion, lack of self-worth, hopelessness, etc.
What only brings me joy is when I create and see new things, that's why I'm so obsessed with anything that has to do with essential oils because I like creating. I'm also getting satisfaction from buying online, which has also a bad after-effect on me because it amps my expenses. Especially now that I'm really keeping track of every peso that goes out of my bank account or getting charged from my credit card. I'm using this app called Money Manager, where I religiously log in every transaction I do. Unfortunately, it makes me really feel bad about myself every time I see an expense, which I think worsens my already bad mental state.
I don't really know what would help me at this point. I bought a new set of crystals though, a selenite slab for charging and cleansing the bad energy, and a couple of tumble stones for prosperity. We'll see how they could help in the coming days.
And then when I learned that my aunt is not getting any better from the medicine I got her, the bad juju started to creep in my head. The stress at work also did not help, which further amplified the bad juju. I don't know, I'm just so down like I am not motivated to do anything. If I have the chance to die right now, I would take it. That's how bad the juju is. I've been trying to meditate every day with my crystals and my essential oils. I even downloaded the app, Tiny Decisions, which is a digital roulette I use so that the universe will point me to the crystal and essential oil I need at that very moment. Yes, I would feel relieved, hopeful, and motivated, but only for a few minutes. After a while, the positive effects would wear off and I would be back to my black hole. I just feel empty in my heart and my head is just so full of negative thoughts, confusion, lack of self-worth, hopelessness, etc.
What only brings me joy is when I create and see new things, that's why I'm so obsessed with anything that has to do with essential oils because I like creating. I'm also getting satisfaction from buying online, which has also a bad after-effect on me because it amps my expenses. Especially now that I'm really keeping track of every peso that goes out of my bank account or getting charged from my credit card. I'm using this app called Money Manager, where I religiously log in every transaction I do. Unfortunately, it makes me really feel bad about myself every time I see an expense, which I think worsens my already bad mental state.
I don't really know what would help me at this point. I bought a new set of crystals though, a selenite slab for charging and cleansing the bad energy, and a couple of tumble stones for prosperity. We'll see how they could help in the coming days.
Comments
Post a Comment